I never forgave Tom Cruise for playing such bratty characters, but it wasn't Tom at all. It was those kids who loved Top Gun, wore those leather bomber jackets and made my life miserable in Junior High that I couldn't forgive.
It took a new friend in the movie industry telling me how professional and courteous Tom is on set to make me look at my feelings. Knowing that Tom actually lives by respect and courtesy of others, allowed me to let go of my resentment of his “bratty characters.”
And what I found underneath had nothing to do with Tom at all, but everything to do with forgiving those who didn't respect me and my individuality – people who wouldn't even remember me! My resentment hasn't hurt them, but it has been slowly poisoning me.
I never forgave Audrey Hepburn from getting the lead in My Fair Lady, when Julie Andrews “should have” gotten the part.
Thinking about Tom Cruise in a new light got me digging into other movie resentments. lol
Forgiveness work is funny because you find yourself forgiving the oddest things – like I forgive Audrey Hupburn for getting the role in My Fair Lady.
On one level that sounds so silly. Audrey didn't take the role to spite me. The director passing over Julie seems to have to bearing on my life.
But that I held a grudge all these years does have deep bearing on my life and it is time to let it go.
In the case of Audrey, it wasn't even my grudge. Someone I admire held the grudge and I picked it up and held onto it for years.
What resentments are you holding on to that aren't even yours?
What resentments are you holding on to that are really masking deeper hurts?
It is likely that you can't answer right off the bat. These tend to hide in our blind spots, but pay attention and when you feel resentment, pounce! And get ready to forgive – even if it seems silly!